


Pete Saves Everything (Mostly)

by chattering_tchotchke



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, I am editing and rewriting this in the wake of KH3, I don’t even ship any of these and here I am, I promise I’ll finish it, M/M, Multi, characters and ships to be added as I continue on, choo choo my dudes the minnievan has just left the driveway, except it’s platonic because I have to retain my sanity, i’m really sorry, this is incredibly cursed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-09-27 14:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chattering_tchotchke/pseuds/chattering_tchotchke
Summary: Who knew just accidentally peeking at a weird, future-predicting book could have such stretching consequences?Or, Pete somehow reads the Book of Prophecies and ends up mostly saving the day.





	1. in which Pete starts the ball rolling

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack, complete and utter crack. I’m only warning you once. If you clicked on this and are willing to continue, then Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 2/15/18

It had all started with looking at that book. Maleficent had specifically told him to not read the Book of Prophecies, whatever that was, but it was definitely an accident. Besides, how was Pete supposed to know what the Book of Prophecies even looked like? It wasn’t like it had “Book of Prophecies (Pete, Don’t Read This)” on the front. Maybe that would’ve been smarter for the author to do something like that. The only warning that it was a mysterious old book was that bright blue eye on the cover.

But he’d read it, not realizing until the end that it was, indeed, the Book of Prophecies he and Maleficent had been looking for. Pete scratched his head as he re-read that weird note.

_Well, I never expected my visions to come to this point. It’s really, really, really, really, weird now. I’d add more “really’s”, probably a couple pages’ worth in addition to a few pages that are completely inked over, but I don’t want to get possibly sued for plagiarism. My future’s still up in the air, and I can’t risk anything._

_In any case, you’re probably really confused about all of this, Pete. That’s totally fine! I’ll advise you to be, well, not confused, but excited instead! Or maybe not. I can only tell you_ once _to not tell Maleficent that you’ve read this. Just pocket this note when you’ve stopped scratching your head over it, and you’ll be good._

_But, I need to get back on topic. Time-related paradoxes are a major headache, to put it simply. So, I’m going to put it simply: just protect Maleficent like you always have. Not so hard, right? And I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but you’ll find a chance to confess your love for her soon enough if you keep on at that._

_And everyone will be happy, too, probably even the people who *cough* don’t really deserve it. Except for that spiky-haired kid, Dora. But you don’t care for that little twerp so much, so it won’t be so bad._

_Anyway, you know that old steamboat you used to use all the time? The one that might need a little love? I just need to remind you of a certain someone who’d give it what it deserves. I know, I know, you hate that mouse. But when the time comes, you’ll know what to do. That boat’ll be in really good hands, albeit tiny, furry, perpetually-glove-covered ones._

_I’m going to have to end my note here, to sulk somewhere about all my ships sinking. And crashing. And burning. Never thought it’d end up like this, but here we are, aren’t we? I just hope everyone else doesn’t take it so badly. Ignore the fact Look, I did a lot of work to get us into this timeline, and I expect my work to be highly appreciated._

_Oh, what am I talking about? It’ll be all over the Twitblrs, or whatever the kids are using to complain these days, but maybe they’ve got some points. Disregard those last two sentences._

_Well then, Pete, have a nice day!_

_—MoM_

_P.S. Remember to not let Maleficent see this note, while you still can._

Pete scratched his head again. How did his Mom know about all this? She’d been dead for years, but maybe she did some time traveling on the side, like he and Maleficent apparently had. Pete had always liked to consider his mother a mysterious and exciting figure, considering he hadn’t known her for very long.

So...the only thing he had to do was keep bodyguarding for Maleficent, eh? That was easy enough.

“Long-awaited chance for a confession of love, here I come!” He announced to no one in particular, running off to deliver the book to Maleficent, to whom he would certainly not tell that he read it.

* * *

 Using the Book of Prophecies, Maleficent had found that the Heroes of Light would be "absolutely curb-stomped at the Keyblade Graveyard by literally only one of the Seekers, at least the first time that I can see clearly, so would whoever’s reading this kindly haul ass over there so I can have my Wayfinder Trio reunion without any of them dying.  That’d be great, thanks.” Disregarding whoever those people were, Xehanort couldn’t be allowed to win that battle—she wanted to find that box, for whatever reason she did,  _before_ the world was remade.

By the time they reached the Graveyard, the situation turned out to be not a total catastrophe. Someone who was probably a Seeker was getting pounded into the ground by another person in a suit of armor while the Guardians of Light defended themselves against a wave of Heartless.

But more Heartless were coming, and now Seekers were popping out of portals.  They must have decided to step in as soon as Maleficent and Pete came and ruined their plans.

One of them immediately summoned their weapons, two of those lightsabers like on that one world system him and her had searched earlier, and rushed at the group.

Maleficent, as always, took perfect command of the situation.

“I will deal with these Heartless, Pete. Make sure that fool of a Master hasn’t killed the others, particularly the king, before I can rub my victory in their faces,” Maleficent commanded him.

“Yes ma’am, Miss Maleficent,” said Pete, before running—or lolloping—over to the two. The King had just jumped in front of the one twerp to save him from an attack, and was getting pulled into a card as Pete sped over. But before that could happen, Pete had jumped on top of the card, breaking it and its pull.

The kid with the Keyblade rushed over at the cloaked figure, who quickly vanished into a portal.

“Thank you for— what are you doing here, Pete?” Mickey shouted. “Tell Maleficent that this is much bigger than Disney Castle! We don’t have time for this!”

“Well, I ain’t here ‘cause we’s friends, yer high-and-mightiness,” Pete said. “I’s just followin’ Miss Maleficent’s orders to make sure youse guys can live to see her win, is all. And if that means helpin’ you chumps, then we’s gonna do that!”

“‘We?’ You mean Maleficent is—” Mickey turned around to see Maleficent holding back the giant wave of Heartless, the other Guardians of Light running over to regroup.

She 

Suddenly a dark portal opened up near her. Master Xehanort, whom Peter had never met, but whom he had heard Maleficent complain of more than once, stepped out. He held his hand out to the side, manifesting an orb of swirling dark purple light while Maleficent was distracted.

Pete realized that he was going to fail. His Mom had asked him to protect Maleficent, and he wasn’t going to be able to do that. His head spun as he dimly registered that he was running, running faster than he ever had before, right toward Maleficent.

“Maleficent, look—”

The old Master shot the ball of darkness at his target.

He didn’t hit it.

* * *

 Mickey let out a shaky gasp as he watched the scene unfold before him. Master Xehanort let loose a huge blast of darkness at Maleficent, definitely meant to kill. And he had hit Pete. Maleficent, on seeing what had happened, had screamed in a rage Mickey was very glad he was far away from.

Donald, taking advantage of this distraction to the Seekers, cast Zettaflare at them in hopes of getting it all over with quickly. By the time the beam of light died down, they were gone. They weren’t dead—Xehanort was certainly smarter than to let himself and his vessels be directly hit by such a spell—but they’d regroup and come back later, for sure. After that, though, they wouldn’t be able to attack for some time.

He debated whether or not he should go over for only a moment, before rushing to his former subject’s side. Goofy would be able to take care of Donald. Maleficent had pulled Pete onto her lap, stroking around his ears while he began to fade away into specks of light.

“Oh gosh, Pete, I—”

“N-now, yer high-and-mightiness, don’t be gettin’ so worked up over this.” Pete coughed weakly a few times. “I’s just been doin’ my job, is all.”

“Pete, you foolish, foolish cat.” Maleficent had a strange mix of grief, anger, and pride in her voice. “My loyal guard to the end, I see.”

“That’s right, Miss Maleficent. You’s can go on and rule the worlds now.”

“You were nowhere near me just a moment before. Did you really run all that way to take a blow in my place?”

He had. Mickey almost hadn’t been able to believe it, but Pete had run even faster than he had in the old days, when he was younger and spryer. All to save Maleficent.

“Well, I had to, y’see—” Pete cut off in a wheeze. “—I couldn’t be lettin’ you be killed now, could I? After all, I— Miss Maleficent, you wouldn’t understand why.”

A sharp edge crept into Maleficent’s voice. “I wouldn’t understand? No...tell me, Pete. What made you sacrifice your life for mine?”

“Well, Mal—Miss Maleficent, it’s’ cause—” Again, Pete was interrupted by wheezes and coughs. “—I’s in love with you.”

“You...were in love with me?” Maleficent couldn’t believe her ears, and neither could Mickey. “What could ever drive you to love someone like me?”

“I’s got to thinkin’ about it one night, and I thinks it’s ‘cause of how confident you always were,” Pete admitted. “Always standin’ so tall while you’s would command the Heartless around. And...I liked that an awful lot.”

The rest of the Guardians of Light had gathered around one by one, Riku standing next to Mickey like he always did.

“Pete…” Maleficent gently stroked the fur on his face. “I didn’t know…”

“That’s okay,” he reassured her. The spots of light drifting from his body were getting bigger. “But I’s still gotta tie up a few loose ends before I go.”

He turned his head. “Car-key-twerp—” Riku started at the nickname. “—be good to his high-and-mightiness. Youse guys should be happy.”

Both Mickey and Riku glanced at each other. Pete had said what both had wanted to say for so long, but what both of them hadn’t known how to say.

“Pete, how do you know that I—”

“I ain’t blind.” Pete’s body glowed all over with a shining light that began to break apart. “Take that old steamboat, highness. It’s gonna be a gift of mine’s to the both of you’s.” He finally began to truly disappear, raising a hand to caress Maleficent’s face. “Goodbye, Miss Maleficent.”

“Goodbye, Pete.” Maleficent leaned down toward his cheek, but she never reached it. In front of her and the rest of the Guardians of Light, Pete finally dissolved into hundreds of spots of light, scattering upward to light the fast-darkening sky.

In the back of his mind, even though he knew he should be thinking of other things, Mickey wondered how Minnie would take the news of his new relationship.  Probably not well.

Haha, whoops.


	2. in which vanitas makes the right decision

Minnie, unsurprisingly, was not taking the news well. Not in any sense of the word. Furniture—mostly the King’s throne and other possessions of his—had been sent flying, only for it to be blasted in midair. Grating, high-pitched howls accompanied the shattering of wood and marble. In only thirty minutes, the throne room had become a complete wreck of debris.

But she wasn’t really angry. Not as angry as she was upset. Angry was less blasting wooden thrones and more cold silence.

Vanitas supposed that he shouldn’t be surprised. He’d stuck around a bit to hear the sappy love confession, which turned into two, which then turned into maybe three. He wasn’t exactly sure about the last one, which had involved the Princess and the pyro guy shrieking something heartfelt to each other as they hugged and some other kid wailed in anguish. In any case, he’d left, as soon as they started hugging, and before they could possibly start kissing.

He’d then remembered his earlier trip to Disney Town all those years ago. Seeing the Queen rule over the world alone, without any sign of her husband—who Vanitas had only ever seen traipsing through worlds—being there at any time. Watching her banish—or put in time-out, though it was really unclear—that weird cat-thing he had seen in the Graveyard.

If the King had shown any sign of being sick of the candy-colored and garish world, Vanitas might have sympathized with him as much as he could have. But, as it was, the King seemed to like all things bright and cheery as much as any other inhabitant of this world.

The remembrance, sparked by the King’s love confession, had given him the brilliant idea to go there again and see how the letter the King was going to send to explain the situation had gone over. As it turned out, that had probably been a better idea for the King than explaining it in person, and a better plan for Vanitas than reporting straight back to a likely angry Xehanort.

Scratch likely; the old man was definitely mad, especially after whatever that stunt in the Keyblade Graveyard had been, and all the madness that had followed. Who knew that that duck could actually do _that?_  

The whole situation was completely disgusting, yes, but also somewhat hilarious. As the scene currently unfolding in front of him proved. Geez, what was that stupid mouse thinking, running off with one of the other Guardians of Light? After that little stunt, the Queen would probably blast him to Kingdom Hearts if she ever saw his face again.

And now she was sitting in the middle of the throne room, bawling her eyes out. Vanitas couldn’t stand it. This was just pathetic. Why should she be crying over that stupid, cheating mouse, anyway?

He ended up surprising himself as he jumped down from his hiding spot on the ceiling of the room. The Queen, still too busy crying, didn’t even notice him approaching her.

“What are you even doing?” Vanitas decided to open up with a question that would get at least an answer, if only a stupidly obvious one.

She didn’t answer; she only cried louder and harder.

“ _What_ are you even _doing_?” Maybe she’d hear him if he shouted.

Still the crying.

_“I said, what are you—”_

“—you tell that— that— that _mouse_ that he better not show his face in this castle again, Sora!”

Well, that answered nothing. The tone of her voice didn’t even say whether she was angry or sad. Vanitas huffed in exasperation, mostly from being mistaken for that other Keyblade wielder. Like he’d ever be caught being so stupidly happy-go-lucky. “He ain’t gonna do that for sure. He sent you a letter instead of facing you himself. Do you seriously think he’d have the guts to come here at all after that stunt?”

He was answered by another irritating howl, and a Flood manifested beside them both. It started crawling up his back, and he shoved it off while it was halfway up.

“Alright, so don’t answer me.” While Vanitas was trying to figure out something else that would get an answer, the Flood was trying to find a way to get either of the two’s attention. By the time her cries had quieted down into soft sniffles, they had both figured out their next course of action. But the Flood jumped onto the Queen’s lap before Vanitas could say anything.

She let out a small yelp as it landed and started pawing at one of the buttons on her dress. She picked it up and held it at arm’s length as it tried to wiggle out of her grasp.

“What is this? And—” She scurried back a ways, _finally_ noticing he was there. “Who are you? You’re…certainly not Sora.”

“Not bad. But I thought you’d recognize the coat and draw some lines from there.”

The Queen let out a small gasp and reached in her pocket. Well, at least she’d finally realized something. “Then— of course! You’re the Seeker of Darkness who looks like Sora!”

Great. Maybe he should’ve worn his helmet; he couldn’t go two steps anywhere without hearing that flake’s name. “Will you and everyone else stop comparing me to that _idiot?!”_ More Floods, as well as a few Scrappers and Bruisers, burst from a cloud of darkness that was growing around him.

 _“Well!”_ After that short, high-pitched exclamation, Vanitas found himself hoisted up in the air by glowing white bands that oddly didn’t hurt for being made of light, though they dissolved his cloud of darkness. “Have I got an earful for you, young man!”

Great. Could be worse, though, he mused as the Queen—Minnie, as she introduced herself somewhere in the beginning of her speech—started lecturing him on…something to do with his allying with a group of “cowardly knaves who wanted to destroy the worlds.” She wasn’t really wrong, though Xehanort’s exact plan was only known to himself and was mostly relayed to the other Seekers by the younger and more smug one. At least he wasn’t back with _them_ right now.

“But since you haven’t committed any crimes, I really can’t do anything about that. In a nutshell, I can’t imprison you here because you haven’t done anything illegal here.”

That last sentence caught his attention. “Well, in that case,” he hissed down at her, “why don’t I just go on my merry little way? You let me go, and we part ways as unlikely acquaintances. Everyone’s happy.”

“Well, I can’t let you leave. That’d be putting all the worlds at risk!” So it seemed like the Queen had some more brains than most others here.

“As if—” Great, he was picking up Braig’s speech patterns now. “Like they aren’t already! What’ll one measly abomination and a couple of Unversed be adding to that?”

The Queen ignored him. “So, you’ll be staying here under my supervision. As my guest.”

Vanitas couldn't help but let out something that was somewhere between a chuckle and a snort. “You— you think you’ll be keeping _me_ as a guest in _your_ castle?!” This was rich, if she meant it.  On second thought, if she actually could make that a reality, he wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “ _Me_ , who you just identified not a minute ago as being one of the Seekers of Darkness,” he said, incredulous that she could even think such a plan was worth trying.

“I’m not very sure why you’re working with them, but I know this plan won’t hurt anyone. In any case, someone so young has no reason or business of their own being with such awful people,” the Queen replied. Was she really still carrying his Flood? “I think you should get a second chance.”

“Why do you care about giving me one?” Why should she, why should anyone care, was the real question. It wasn’t like he even deserved something like that. He wasn’t even a full person, really.

“Because it’s my business as queen of this world to do just that. And since Mickey won’t be here, who else is going to take charge?” The Queen waved her wand and the bands of light disappeared, leaving Vanitas standing on the ground.

He could definitely leave, if he wanted. Back out through a dark portal and go back with the Seekers. But he’d been gone for a few hours at this point. It hadn’t really been much of a choice to return back then, but now he had somewhere else he could go. And he’d been gone for far too long now for returning to be any sort of healthy.

On one hand, he probably wouldn’t survive this overly cheery world very long. On the other hand, it probably—definitely—wouldn’t be so bad in the end. The Queen—Minnie—could certainly take on most of the Seekers, if not the Master himself. If that duck could cast the most universe-breakingly powerful spell in all the worlds without instant burning up on even saying it, Minnie was probably better. They wouldn’t be coming here, in any case. The world was bright enough to hide his darkness from sight.

And who could even guess that he’d gone here? For sure, no one—not the Seekers of Darkness, and Minnie definitely wouldn’t be talking with the Guardians of Light anymore, so that ruled out them—would find him here.

“Fine. I’ll stay, then,” Vanitas said.

And for the first time in his life, Vanitas realized he was feeling rather content. Huh. Maybe there was more to life than just being a shadow, after all. Maybe Minnie had a point of him getting a second chance. And as time went on, life got better than it had ever been as a Seeker. He wasn’t going to complain about that.

If he ever saw the ex-King again, he’d make sure to wave his lifetime Disneytown pass in his round face. That was hilarious.

He was absolutely, totally unaware that his absence would spark a revolution among the entirety of the Seekers. Well, most of them, at least...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was actually hard to write, since I had to find a way for the conclusion to be somewhat natural. I’m proud of it, though.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing stemmed from a late-night conversation in which I was informed that Donald couldn’t die because he was a Disney character and a good one at that. I jokingly replied that Pete would die taking a hit for Maleficent and it spiraled out of control.


End file.
